


Buy You A Drink

by Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Humor, M/M, it's meant to be funny lol, tinder hookup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:47:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21617818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradisobound/pseuds/Yiffandquiff
Summary: Dan’s lonely...and bored. He also has nothing to drink in his flat. So as he’s swiping Tinder and he matches with a random guy, he decides to play it up a bit. So he asks the guy to bring him a drink to his flat--in exchange for a blow job.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	Buy You A Drink

**Author's Note:**

> Written for @sudden-sky because they sent a hilarious photo in discord of a text by a guy on Grindr asking the person they matched with to pick him up a drink from 7/11 and it made me want to write that into a fic version lol

It had been a lonely Thursday night for Dan. He was keeping himself busy by switching between Bumble and Tinder, swiping left and right on people just to see if anyone was going to actually match him. He wasn’t looking for a hook up tonight, but if the opportunity presented itself, he might just be willing to do something to escape his lonely night. **  
**

He’s ten swipes in on Tinder when he goes to grab his glass on the floor beside his couch and as he’s bringing it up to his mouth, he sees its empty. He groans. Now he’s going to have to get up and get something else.

Dan stands up from the couch and walks into his kitchen with the empty glass. He opens his fridge and immediately is shown nothing. His fridge is completely empty save for the very flat bottle of coke that’s from the rum and Cokes he made on Halloween, nearly two weeks ago.

When he grabs it to test it anyway, nothing comes out. No hiss. Zero carbonation. He groans. It’s undrinkable. He needs to dump it. He begins to dump it down the drain when his phone pings on the counter and he turns his head.

He has a new match, and it’s with a guy named Phil. He vaguely remembers seeing Phil when he was swiping and his pictures caught Dan’s eye. Dark black hair, bright blue eyes. A puppy in the third photo. _Yep, he checks all of Dan’s boxes._

But as the bottle empties just a bit more into the sink, Dan suddenly has a master plan because he could maybe get a drink and have a hook up in one night if he plays his cards right.

He drops the empty plastic bottle in the sink and picks up his phone, typing out the message.

_Hey. So I know we just matched on Tinder but I have a proposition for you. I’m currently alone in my flat, nothing to drink. Not even any soda. I’m thirsty and I need company. So pick me up a drink and drop it off at my flat and I’ll give you a blow job?_

Dan feels no shame hitting send. He washes out the sink and then throws the empty plastic bottle into his recycling and picks his phone up again. He’s already got a new message.

_What do you want?_

Dan feels his eyes widen and smirk curl into his lips as he types out his next message.

_Surprise me?_

Phil texts him back a smiley face and then asks for Dan’s address and Dan gives it to him as he sits back on his couch and waits.

It’s nearly 20 minutes later when he gets a knock on the door and his heart is fluttering in his chest. This has to be Phil. He opens the door and sure enough, there he is.

And he’s even more beautiful than his photos. His hair is pushed into a quiff and he’s wearing glasses perched on the edge of his nose. He’s also very well dressed with a jean jacket, red striped shirt, and a pair of tight ripped black jeans. Dan feels his mouth water and his bites his lip as he notices the Starbucks cup in Phil’s hand.

“I got you Starbucks because most people like Starbucks, I hope?”

“I love Starbucks actually.” Dan says with a laugh. He takes the drink from Phil’s hand and takes a sip of it.

It’s an iced caramel macchiato, one of his favorite drinks. It’s kind of amazing how Phil managed to get his favorite drink by total chance.

“I suppose you want your reward now?” Dan asks, backing up into his flat and letting Phil inside.

Phil shockingly shakes his head. “I wasn’t doing it for the, you know, blow job. I just wanted to be friendly more than anything.”

The words cut deep into Dan’s core and he blushes a bit at Phil’s generosity. That’s actually kind of sweet, he thinks.

“Oh, thank you. That’s really sweet.”

“But I won’t be like...be opposed if you wanted to give me a blow job.”

Dan let’s out a snort and sets his drink onto his kitchen counter as he walks Phil into the living room. He pushes Phil back into his couch and Phil goes easy.

Dan sinks to his news because as shocking or not shocking as it may seem, he’s not inexperienced with giving blow jobs. He’s definitely given his fair share of them and he really enjoys them.

He manages to undo Phil’s jeans and open them enough to reach under his boxers and pull him out and damn he’s hung. Dan groans outwardly and Phil looks down at him with flushed cheeks. His cock is heavy and hot in his hand and he strokes a few times up and down to get him riled up.

When Dan bends down, he takes the head into his mouth and sucks.

Phil lasts longer than Dan was expecting him to, but when he cums, it’s copious and Dan swallows it down, cringing at the warm salty mix.

He normally doesn’t swallow, but he felt that he should for Phil for literally going to Starbucks and getting him a drink. He literally didn’t have to do any of this at all for Dan and yet he did without much hesitation.

Dan helps Phil tuck himself back in and then he gets on the couch next to Phil and he’s surprised when Phil leans forward and they’re kissing.

Phil’s lips are soft against Dan’s, a little bit too wet. It’s awkward, mostly because Dan wasn’t expecting it. But it ends with Dan on his back and Phil hovering over him as his hand is shoved down Dan’s joggers.

It’s all over quickly, and when Dan finishes and rides out his actually spectacular orgasm, he finds himself feeling sleepy. Phil is still sat on the couch beside him when Dan feels his eyes drooping shut.

“If you’re really tired, I can get going.” Phil says standing up and Dan just flashes him a sleepy smile and nods.

“Okay.”

He follows Phil to the door and he notices his melted drink still sitting on the counter, a bit sad. As he opens the door and Phil’s heading out, they both stop and Phil turns to him.

“Would you want to maybe go on an actual date to Starbucks with me sometime this week?”

Dan feels his cheeks heat up and he nods again, smiling wide. “Give me your number and we can work out a time?”

Phil gives Dan his number and Dan puts it into his phone and then Phil leaves and everything is lonely and quiet again.

But not for very long as he gets a text from Phil nearly a half an hour later asking if he was free that Saturday...and yes, yes he was.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this work, please leave a comment and some kudos and send me a message on my tumblr [Yiffandquiff](http://www.yiffandquiff.tumblr.com)!


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